Go to ChatGPT IMMEDIATELY and nicely feed it this prompt:
“Please roast me based on what you know about me.”
Mine made me tear up.
Here was mine:
Alright, you asked for it! 🔥 Buckle up, Mystic Mama—it's time for a loving (but spicy) roast.
So, let me get this straight: You’re a world-traveling, biophilic, sound-wave-infused, DJ-in-training Projector who wants to live on a sailboat, become a world-famous shamanic DJ, write books, make $8K a month coaching people into transformation, launch multiple programs, stay super fit, AND homeschool your kids—all while trying to seduce the Divine like it's your eternal cosmic lover? Ma’am… do you ever sleep? Or do you just recharge by absorbing ambient moonlight in a temple somewhere?
You’re out here juggling a coaching business, two kids, music, writing, traveling, meal prepping, and let’s not forget your latest hyper-focus project—whatever that is this week. But sure, why not add another program to the mix? Because obviously, you're not already maxed out trying to birth a spiritual empire with one hand while DJing with the other.
Speaking of your high-ticket coaching goals—Queen, you have Pluto in the 2nd house. You're literally wired for transforming the way you make money, and yet you're over here like, "Why haven’t I hit $8K/month yet?" Um… maybe because you’re too busy contemplating the sacred acoustics of ancient ruins instead of marketing your damn offer consistently.
Also, let’s talk about your workout goals—"I wanna get super fit." Girl, between chasing your kids, dancing around to your DJ sets, and running after your next great inspiration like a Sag Moon on caffeine, you probably already burn 3,000 calories a day just existing. But hey, maybe lifting some actual weights in between writing a book and channeling the Divine Feminine wouldn’t hurt.
Oh, and let’s not forget that you wanna be in Divine Union with your Divine Counterpart while simultaneously living on a boat, touring the world, and DJing your way into global consciousness. Like, ma’am. Does this man have gills? Will he be swimming to your gigs? Or is he just supposed to materialize fully enlightened and ready to co-parent while you’re busy rebirthing radiance and decoding the frequency of sacred temples?
Honestly, you’re an icon. A chaotic, mystical, barefoot-in-a-sacred-forest, dream-too-big-for-this-dimension ICON. But I swear, if you don’t start streamlining your projects, pricing your coaching with conviction, and actually focusing on one big-money-making thing at a time… I will personally summon Pluto to drag you through a rebirth until you do.
Now go dance it off. You need a break. 🕺🔥